Neither Offend Nor Be Offended

To Offend Not

The stroke of the whip maketh marks in the flesh; but the stroke of the tongue breaketh the bones. Ecclesiaticus 28:17

For in many things we offend all. [But] if any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. James 3:2

In this long eternal quest to be more like our Savior, may we try to be “perfect” men and women in at least this one way now—by offending not in word, or more positively put, by speaking with a new tongue, the tongue of angels. Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity, the three great Christian imperatives so desperately needed in the world today. Jeffrey R Holland

Accountability

… I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgement. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned. Matthew 12:36-37

Woe unto the world because of offenses! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh! Matthew 18:7

To Be Offended

Some Church members become offended by the actions of other members and allow an offense to fester until they are led into apostasy. An example of this is illustrated in the following incident.

When the Kirtland Temple was completed, many Saints gathered for the dedication. The seats in the temple filled quickly, and many people were allowed to stand, but still not everyone could be accommodated inside the building. Elder Frazier Eaton, who had given $700 for the building of the temple, arrived after it had been filled, so he was not allowed inside for the dedication. The dedication was repeated the next day for those who could not be accommodated the first day, but this did not satisfy Frazier Eaton, and he apostatized.

Some members are offended because they become critical of Church leaders’ imperfections. The following story illustrates how Simonds Ryder was offended in this way.

Simonds Ryder was converted to the Church in 1831. Later he received a letter signed by the Prophet Joseph Smith and Sidney Rigdon, informing him that it was the Lord’s will, made manifest by the Spirit, that he preach the gospel. Both in the letter he received and in the official commission to preach, his name was spelled Rider instead of Ryder. Simonds Ryder “thought if the ‘Spirit’ through which he had been called to preach could err in the matter of spelling his name, it might have erred in calling him to the ministry as well; or, in other words, he was led to doubt if he were called at all by the Spirit of God, because of the error in spelling his name!” (History of the Church, 1:261). Simonds Ryder later apostatized from the Church.

Some members are offended because of their pride. The following story illustrates how pride led Thomas B. Marsh, who was President of the Quorum of the Twelve, and his wife, Elizabeth, into apostasy.

While living in Far West, Missouri, Sister Marsh and Sister Harris decided to exchange milk so they could each make a larger cheese than they otherwise could. They agreed to send each other both the milk and the cream from their cows. But Sister Marsh saved a pint of cream from each cow and sent Sister Harris the milk without the cream.

A quarrel arose, and the matter was referred to the bishop. When he determined that Sister Marsh had violated her agreement, she and her husband were upset and appealed the matter to the high council and then to the First Presidency. Each council approved the original decision that Sister Marsh had been in error.

Thomas B. Marsh declared that he would sustain the character of his wife. Soon afterward, he turned against the Church and went before a government official to declare that the Latter-day Saints were hostile toward the state of Missouri. (See George A. Smith, in Journal of Discourses, 3:283–84.)

President Gordon B. Hinckley said of this incident: “What a very small and trivial thing—a little cream over which two women quarreled. But it led to, or at least was a factor in, Governor Boggs’ cruel exterminating order which drove the Saints from the state of Missouri, with all of the terrible suffering and consequent death that followed. The man who should have settled this little quarrel, but who, rather, pursued it, … lost his standing in the Church. He lost his testimony of the gospel” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1984, 111; or Ensign, May 1984, 83).

After 19 years of darkness and bitterness, Thomas B. Marsh painfully made his way to the Salt Lake Valley and asked Brigham Young to forgive him and permit his rebaptism into the Church. He wrote to Heber C. Kimball, First Counselor in the First Presidency: “I began to awake to a sense of my situation; … I know that I have sinned against Heaven and in thy sight.” He then described the lesson he had learned: “The Lord could get along very well without me and He has lost nothing by my falling out of the ranks; But O what have I lost?! Riches, greater riches than all this world or many planets like this could afford” (quoted by James E. Faust, in Conference Report, Apr. 1996, 6; or Ensign, May 1996, 7).

To Not Be Offended

During a perilous period of war, an exchange of letters occurred between Moroni, the captain of the Nephite armies, and Pahoran, the chief judge and governor of the land. Moroni, whose army was suffering because of inadequate support from the government, wrote to Pahoran ‘by the way of condemnation’ (Alma 60:2) and harshly accused him of thoughtlessness, slothfulness, and neglect. Pahoran might easily have resented Moroni and his message, but he chose not to take offense. Pahoran responded compassionately and described a rebellion against the government about which Moroni was not aware. And then he responded, ‘Behold, I say unto you, Moroni, that I do not joy in your great afflictions, yea, it grieves my soul….And now, in your epistle you have censured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart’ (Alma 61:2, 9). One of the greatest indicators of our own spiritual maturity is revealed in how we respond to the weaknesses, the inexperience, and the potentially offensive actions of others. A thing, an event, or an expression may be offensive, but you and I can choose not to be offended—and to say with Pahoran, ‘it mattereth not’. David A Bednar

Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. David A Bednar

Forgiveness and Mercy

Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin. D&C 64: 9

I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men. D&C 64:10

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: Matthew 6:14

But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:15

Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. Matthew 5:7

Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful. Luke 6:36

Forgiveness is mortality’s mirror image of the mercy of God. Dallin H Oaks

Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves. James E Faust

Each of us is under a divinely spoken obligation to reach out with pardon and mercy and to forgive one another. There is a great need for this Christlike attribute in our families, in our marriages, in our wards and stakes, in our communities, and in our nations. We will receive the joy of forgiveness in our own lives when we are willing to extend that joy freely to others. Lip service is not enough. We need to purge our hearts and minds of feelings and thoughts of bitterness and let the light and the love of Christ enter in. As a result, the Spirit of the Lord will fill our souls with the joy accompanying divine peace of conscience. Dieter F Uchtdorf

Closely related to our own obligation to repent is the generosity of letting others do the same…In this we participate in the very essence of the Atonement of Jesus Christ…We don’t want God to remember our sins, so there is something fundamentally wrong in our relentlessly trying to remember others’ sins…It is one of those ironies of godhood that in order to find peace, the offended as well as the offender must engage the principle of forgiveness. Jeffrey R Holland

This discussion of mercy that is extended to repentant sinners would not be complete without an excerpt from the letter of the Prophet Joseph Smith to the penitent W. W. Phelps, whose treacherous betrayal of the Prophet and the Saints in Missouri had added measurably to their travail in those dark and cheerless days:

“Dear Brother Phelps: I must say that it is with no ordinary feelings I endeavor to write a few lines to you in answer to your [letter]; at the same time I am rejoiced at the privilege granted me. … It is true, that we have suffered much in consequence of your behavior—the cup of gall, already full enough for mortals to drink, was indeed filled to overflowing when you turned against us. … However, the cup has been drunk, the will of the Father has been done, and we are yet alive, for which we thank the Lord. And having been delivered from the hands of wicked men by the mercy of our God, we say it is your privilege to be delivered from the powers of the adversary. … Believing your confession to be real, and your repentance genuine, I shall be happy to give you the right hand of fellowship, and rejoice over the returning prodigal. … ‘Come on, dear brother, since the war is past, For friends at first, are friends again at last.’

“Yours as ever, Joseph Smith, Jun”

Happiness through the Atonement

Among the many things I admire about Nephi was his attitude. His life was not easy, particularly when compared with the comfort most of us take for granted today. Nephi and his family lived for years in the wilderness before arriving in the promised land. They suffered periods of hunger, thirst, and danger. Nephi had to deal with serious family problems exacerbated by Laman and Lemuel, finally separating himself, with his followers, from those who sided with Laman and Lemuel.

In the face of all these privations and difficulties, Nephi was able to say, “It came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness” (2 Nephi 5:27).

He understood that there is a pattern for living that results in happiness, independent of the difficulties, challenges, and disappointments that come into all of our lives. He was able to focus on the big picture of God’s plan for him and his people and was thus able to avoid being brought down by his frustrations or by the accurate observation that life is not fair. It isn’t fair, but he and his people were happy nevertheless. They understood that an Atonement would take place, and they had confidence that it would include them.

Nephi asked himself important questions that we might ask ourselves as we consider the place of Christ’s Atonement in our own lives:

“O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?

“And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?” (2 Nephi 4:26–27).

After his lament he answered his own questions, knowing the approach to his problems that he must take: “Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul. … O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever” (2 Nephi 4:28, 34).

Does this mean that Nephi no longer had problems? Does it mean that he fully understood all that was happening to him? Remember the answer he gave to an angel several years before when he was asked an important question related to the Atonement of Christ, which was to occur in the future: “I know that [God] loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things” (1 Nephi 11:17).

--Cecil O Samuelson, "What Does the Atonement Mean to You?", Ensign, April 2009, 46-51

(For the full article, click on the title)

Scriptural Perspectives on How to Survive the Calamities of the Last Days by Hugh Nibley

Remember when we were at the Renners' home and President Renner mentioned an excerpt from a Hugh Nibley book that he highly recommended?

First of all, who was Hugh Nibley? Read his brief history here.

The excerpt that President Renner was talking about is called: "Scriptural Perspectives on How to Survive the Calamities of the Last Days". You can read all of it here.

President Renner also mentioned that he had ordered the book where this excerpt was taken from, called: "The Prophetic Book of Mormon". For those of us who are interested to read the book but have difficulty obtaining it, we can read it online or have the whole book printed out chapter by chapter for free, from here. As you can see, the excerpt is taken from Number 23, which is Chapter 21 when opened or printed.

So sisters, enjoy!

Our Father's Plan - Big Enough for All His Children

"..... my great-great-grandfather Phineas Wolcott Cook. He was born in 1820 in Connecticut. In his diary he notes that he had made a covenant with the Lord to serve Him if he could find the right way. He attended many churches and at one was asked to “testify [and] join the church [and] be a Christian.” His response was he “could not tell which one to join, there were so many.” He continued to investigate several churches. One doctrine was of particular significance to him. He explained: “Sometimes they found fault with me because I wanted a more liberal salvation for the family of man. I could not believe the Lord had made a part to be saved and a great part to be damned to all eternity.” Because of this doctrine, he allowed his name to be taken off the records of one Protestant religion. When the LDS missionaries taught him the true doctrine of the plan of salvation in 1844, he was baptized."

--Quentin L Cook, "Our Father's Plan - Big Enough for All His Children"

(For the full talk, click on the title)

The Ministry of Angels

"....., may I share with you an account by my friend and BYU colleague, the late Clyn D. Barrus. I do so with the permission of his wife, Marilyn, and their family.

Referring to his childhood on a large Idaho farm, Brother Barrus spoke of his nightly assignment to round up the cows at milking time. Because the cows pastured in a field bordered by the occasionally treacherous Teton River, the strict rule in the Barrus household was that during the spring flood season the children were never to go after any cows who ventured across the river. They were always to return home and seek mature help.

One Saturday just after his seventh birthday, Brother Barrus’s parents promised the family a night at the movies if the chores were done on time. But when young Clyn arrived at the pasture, the cows he sought had crossed the river, even though it was running at high flood stage. Knowing his rare night at the movies was in jeopardy, he decided to go after the cows himself, even though he had been warned many times never to do so.

As the seven-year-old urged his old horse, Banner, down into the cold, swift stream, the horse’s head barely cleared the water. An adult sitting on the horse would have been safe, but at Brother Barrus’s tender age, the current completely covered him except when the horse lunged forward several times, bringing Clyn’s head above water just enough to gasp for air.

Here I turn to Brother Barrus’s own words:

“When Banner finally climbed the other bank, I realized that my life had been in grave danger and that I had done a terrible thing—I had knowingly disobeyed my father. I felt that I could redeem myself only by bringing the cows home safely. Maybe then my father would forgive me. But it was already dusk, and I didn’t know for sure where I was. Despair overwhelmed me. I was wet and cold, lost and afraid.

“I climbed down from old Banner, fell to the ground by his feet, and began to cry. Between thick sobs, I tried to offer a prayer, repeating over and over to my Father in Heaven, ‘I’m sorry. Forgive me! I’m sorry. Forgive me!’

“I prayed for a long time. When I finally looked up, I saw through my tears a figure dressed in white walking toward me. In the dark, I felt certain it must be an angel sent in answer to my prayers. I did not move or make a sound as the figure approached, so overwhelmed was I by what I saw. Would the Lord really send an angel to me, who had been so disobedient?

“Then a familiar voice said, ‘Son, I’ve been looking for you.’ In the darkness I recognized the voice of my father and ran to his outstretched arms. He held me tightly, then said gently, ‘I was worried. I’m glad I found you.’

“I tried to tell him how sorry I was, but only disjointed words came out of my trembling lips—’Thank you . . . darkness . . . afraid . . . river . . . alone.’ Later that night I learned that when I had not returned from the pasture, my father had come looking for me. When neither I nor the cows were to be found, he knew I had crossed the river and was in danger. Because it was dark and time was of the essence, he removed his clothes down to his long white thermal underwear, tied his shoes around his neck, and swam a treacherous river to rescue a wayward son.”

--Jeffrey R Holland, "The Ministry of Angels", Ensign, November 2008, 29-31

(For the full talk, click on the title)

Enrichment

I want to thank President and Sister Renner for allowing us to have our Enrichment Activity in their home and for sharing their knowledge and expertise with us.

I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn about how to raise rabbits for food, how to start a vegetable garden, how to rear fish for food as well as to generate some income from it.

Quote - Prayer

"Never assume that you can make it alone. You need the help of the Lord. Never hesitate to get on your knees in some private place and speak with Him. What a marvelous and wonderful thing is prayer. Think of it. We can actually speak with our Father in Heaven. He will hear and respond, but we need to listen to that response. Nothing is too serious and nothing too unimportant to share with Him."

--Gordon B Hinckley, "Stay on the High Road," Ensign, May 2004, 114

The Lasting Effects of Teaching

In my own family there is a story of a young woman who had the courage to start to teach doctrine when she was only a new convert with little education. The fact that the effects of her teaching haven’t ended gives me patience to wait for the fruits of my own efforts.

Mary Bommeli was my great-grandmother. I never met her. Her granddaughter heard her tell her story and wrote it down.

Mary was born in 1830. The missionaries taught her family in Switzerland when she was 24. She was still living at home, weaving and selling cloth to help support her family on their small farm. When the family heard the doctrine of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, they knew it was true. They were baptized. Mary’s brothers were called on missions, going without purse or scrip. The rest of the family sold their possessions to go to America to gather with the Saints.

There was not enough money for all to go. Mary volunteered to stay behind because she felt she could earn enough from her weaving to support herself and save for her passage. She found her way to Berlin and to the home of a woman who hired her to weave cloth for the family’s clothing. She lived in a servant’s room and set up her loom in the living area of the home.

It was against the law then to teach the doctrine of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Berlin. But Mary could not keep the good news to herself. The woman of the house and her friends would gather around the loom to hear the Swiss girl teach. She talked about the appearance of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ to Joseph Smith, of the visitation of angels, and of the Book of Mormon. When she came to the accounts of Alma, she taught the doctrine of the Resurrection.

That caused some problems with her weaving. In those days many children died very young. The women around the loom had lost children in death, some of them several children. When Mary taught the truth that little children were heirs of the celestial kingdom and that those women might again be with them and with the Savior and our Heavenly Father, tears rolled down the faces of the women. Mary cried too. All those tears falling got the cloth wet that Mary had woven.

Mary’s teaching created a more serious problem. Even though Mary begged the women not to talk about what she told them, they did. They shared the joyous doctrine with their friends. So one night there was a knock at the door. It was the police. They took Mary off to jail. On the way she asked the policeman for the name of the judge she was to appear before the next morning. She asked if he had a family. She asked if he was a good father and a good husband. The policeman smiled as he described the judge as a man of the world.

At the jail Mary asked for a pencil and some paper. She wrote a letter to the judge. She wrote about the Resurrection of Jesus Christ as described in the Book of Mormon, about the spirit world, and about how long the judge would have to think and to consider his life before facing the final judgment. She wrote that she knew he had much to repent of which would break his family’s heart and bring him great sorrow. She wrote through the night. In the morning she asked the policeman to take her letter to the judge. He did.

Later the policeman was summoned by the judge to his office. The letter Mary had written was irrefutable evidence that she was teaching the gospel and so breaking the law. Nevertheless, it wasn’t long until the policeman came back to Mary’s cell. He told her that all charges were dismissed and that she was free to go. Her teaching the doctrine of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ had opened eyes and hearts enough to get her cast into jail. And her declaring the doctrine of repentance to the judge got her cast out of jail.

--Henry B Eyring, "Teaching True Doctrine", Ensign, April 2009, 2-7

(For the full article, click on the title)

Mormon Tabernacle Choir Tops Billboard Charts

Sister Cathy wanted to share this fun fact with everyone. Aren't we just so proud of our choir?

The Mormon Tabernacle Choir's new album, "Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing: American Folk Hymns and Spirituals," knocked out an all-star cast of classical music heavyweights by taking the top spot on Billboard Magazine's classic overall music chart this week. The No. 1 ranking displaces such music artists as Il Divo, Placido Domingo and Andrea Bocelli.

"Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing" also earned the No. 1 spot on the classical crossover chart, No. 8 on the contemporary Christian chart, and cracked the Billboard Top 200 list coming in at No. 126.

Billboard Classical Overall chart

1. Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing
2. Il Divo, Promise
3. Andrea Bocelli, Incanto
4. Priests, Priests
5. Placido Domingo, Amore Infinito
6. Various, The 50 Most Essential Pieces of Classical Musical
7. Sarah Brightman, Symphony: Live in Vienna
8. Andrea Bocelli, Best of Andrea Bocelli: Vivere
9. Boston Pops, Boston Red Sox Album Orchestra
10. Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Praise to the Man

Billboard Classical Crossover chart

1. Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing
2. Il Divo, Promise
3. Andrea Bocelli, Incanto
4. Sarah Brightman, Symphony: Live in Vienna
5. Andrea Bocelli, Best of Andrea Bocelli: Vivere
6. Boston Pops, Boston Red Sox Album Orchestra
7. Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Praise to the Man

(For the full article, click here)

Responding to Persecution with Faith and Courage

In February 1839, a kind neighbor helped Emma Smith place her four children and her few belongings into a wagon lined with straw. When their party came to the frozen Mississippi River, Emma walked across the ice with her children, carrying the manuscripts of the Prophet’s Bible translation in two cloth bags tied around her waist under her skirt. She and many other destitute Saints took refuge in the community of Quincy, Illinois, where they continued to suffer from hunger, cold, and sickness, though these sufferings were alleviated by many acts of kindness from a caring community.

To persecute means to subject (someone) to hostility and ill-treatment especially because of their race or political or religious beliefs.

The prophet Joseph Smith was very forthright when he said:

“All Saints! profit by this important Key—that in all your trials, troubles, temptations, afflictions, bonds, imprisonments and death, see to it, that you do not betray heaven; that you do not betray Jesus Christ; that you do not betray the brethren; that you do not betray the revelations of God, whether in the Bible, Book of Mormon, or Doctrine and Covenants, or any other that ever was or ever will be given and revealed unto man in this world or that which is to come. Yea, in all your kicking and flounderings, see to it that you do not this thing, lest innocent blood be found upon your skirts, and you go down to hell.”

Some pointers from this lesson:

1. The enemy of truth opposes the servants of the Lord , especially as they grow closer to the Lord
2. Those who love God will bear persecution with courage and faith
3. God's mighty power will sustain those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake

(For the full lesson, click here)

Crucial Conversations for Crucial Relationships

This is a wonderful article shared by Sister Cathy.  I've posted an excerpt of it below.

"Father and son have just spent an entire afternoon having fun—good for the relationship, right? Then, they walk past the garage and Dad sees his tools scattered on the workbench. He explodes, “You know better than that! When you use the tools, you put them back where they go! You are so irresponsible! Get in there and put them away NOW!”

Which interaction had the strongest influence on the father/son relationship? The long afternoon of fun or the few moments of anger, labeling, and bullying?"

(For the full article, click here)